The daily washing of emotions marital
........ ((Important))
Peace be upon you and Allah's mercy and blessings
No one can claim that married life could go routinely appropriate and acceptable, and a house without a problem may not have on this earth! And psychologists and sociologists are talking openly about the need for there to be washing daily for Awatfaihfez marriage of his major problems.
Problems to Conversation generally moving in the state of married life and explained its dimensions and it was arranged that pattern.If you love me to know what I think or feel, or what do I want?- That the other party can not read thoughts, and predicted that such fall into the trap of waiting, may fall from its installation. It is better to permit including the rights of his partner wants, clearly.
If you do not agree one of us he would be wrong, I will not be precisely!- Such a firm conviction, means spending a long time in blaming the other party, without thinking to solve the problem, and the rights to remember that disagreement is legitimate, and that this does not mean that one bad sides. He has to accept the fact says that listening is the best act in some cases, and that listening means trying to understand the point of view of the other party, without regard difference a personal issue.
If I wanted to tell you how I feel about some of the things you will be angry, but I can not, Vsabaka my mouth shut.- People are afraid to cause any negative note they say to the other party, in the loss of his love, but this is not true in the case of marriage, those who do not speak in order to maintain peace in their marital relationships, will pay a heavy price for this silence in the future.
If you also should be, you will not be weak or tired or timid or scared.- Likes men to be perfect before their wives, and when they find out they have shown some shortcomings, they are trying to hide their feelings, hoping only discovered women, the greater the disappearance of feelings, increased their anger on their wives and increased the distance between them, while not know wives what's wrong."" "" "" "" "" "" ""It is quite natural, but be fully human, and the other party will never expected perfection, there is no need to try to appear as the ideal man because this attempt will give counterproductive to marry.
If she told me about a problem they are exposed, I was obliged to give advice."" "" "" "" "- Often, when it was put human problem in front of his partner, about work or kids or friends, the most that tries to get it, is authorized sympathetic, but most people, unfortunately, think that it is their duty to provide wisdom, so boycotting and correct and provide tips, which angers the other side, because it makes him feel that his partner is considered non-intelligent enough to solve its problems, so he will decide only speaks in these problems.
If you want to be alone, it means you do not love me.- That's just human need to be alone for a while, does not mean never He does not like his partner. That every man needs to be alone, and on the other side to accept, without have to take it very personally, or blame their partner needs him.
I can not do what you want, because you Stmted.- When does human only what he wants his partner, he disclosed his displeasure is, because he is not happy, and unhappy with the partner who made him that way, that is the duty of each party to bear its responsibility to create happiness for himself, without blaming the other party on the absence.
Peace be upon you and Allah's mercy and blessings
No one can claim that married life could go routinely appropriate and acceptable, and a house without a problem may not have on this earth! And psychologists and sociologists are talking openly about the need for there to be washing daily for Awatfaihfez marriage of his major problems.
Problems to Conversation generally moving in the state of married life and explained its dimensions and it was arranged that pattern.If you love me to know what I think or feel, or what do I want?- That the other party can not read thoughts, and predicted that such fall into the trap of waiting, may fall from its installation. It is better to permit including the rights of his partner wants, clearly.
If you do not agree one of us he would be wrong, I will not be precisely!- Such a firm conviction, means spending a long time in blaming the other party, without thinking to solve the problem, and the rights to remember that disagreement is legitimate, and that this does not mean that one bad sides. He has to accept the fact says that listening is the best act in some cases, and that listening means trying to understand the point of view of the other party, without regard difference a personal issue.
If I wanted to tell you how I feel about some of the things you will be angry, but I can not, Vsabaka my mouth shut.- People are afraid to cause any negative note they say to the other party, in the loss of his love, but this is not true in the case of marriage, those who do not speak in order to maintain peace in their marital relationships, will pay a heavy price for this silence in the future.
If you also should be, you will not be weak or tired or timid or scared.- Likes men to be perfect before their wives, and when they find out they have shown some shortcomings, they are trying to hide their feelings, hoping only discovered women, the greater the disappearance of feelings, increased their anger on their wives and increased the distance between them, while not know wives what's wrong."" "" "" "" "" "" ""It is quite natural, but be fully human, and the other party will never expected perfection, there is no need to try to appear as the ideal man because this attempt will give counterproductive to marry.
If she told me about a problem they are exposed, I was obliged to give advice."" "" "" "" "- Often, when it was put human problem in front of his partner, about work or kids or friends, the most that tries to get it, is authorized sympathetic, but most people, unfortunately, think that it is their duty to provide wisdom, so boycotting and correct and provide tips, which angers the other side, because it makes him feel that his partner is considered non-intelligent enough to solve its problems, so he will decide only speaks in these problems.
If you want to be alone, it means you do not love me.- That's just human need to be alone for a while, does not mean never He does not like his partner. That every man needs to be alone, and on the other side to accept, without have to take it very personally, or blame their partner needs him.
I can not do what you want, because you Stmted.- When does human only what he wants his partner, he disclosed his displeasure is, because he is not happy, and unhappy with the partner who made him that way, that is the duty of each party to bear its responsibility to create happiness for himself, without blaming the other party on the absence.
غسيل يومي للعواطف الزوجية ........ ((هامــــــ))
السلام عليكم ورحمه الله وبركاته
لا أحد يستطيع ان يدعي ان الحياة الزوجية بامكانها ان تسير بشكل روتيني مناسب ومقبول، وبيت بلا مشكلة ربما لم يقم على هذه الأرض بعد! وعلماء النفس والاجتماع يتحدثون بصراحة عن ضرورة ان يكون هناك غسيل يومي للعواطفيحفظ الزواج من مشاكله الكبرى.
المشاكل الى محاورة تتحرك بشكل عام في اية حياة زوجية وشرحوا ابعادها وليكن انها مرتبة بهذا النسق.
لو كنت تحبني لعرفت بماذا أفكر أو اشعر، او ماذا أريد؟
- ان الطرف الآخر لا يستطيع ان يقرأ الافكار، وتوقع ذلك مثل انتظار الوقوع في مصيدة، قد يقع فيها من نصبها. ان من الافضل التصريح بما يريده الانسان من شريكه، بشكل واضح.
اذا لم توافق فواحد منا سيكون على خطأ، ولن أكون بالذات!
- مثل هذه القناعة التامة، تعني قضاء وقت طويل في لوم الطرف الاخر، دون التفكير بحل المشكلة، وعلى الانسان ان يتذكر ان عدم الموافقة امر مشروع، وان هذا لا يعني سوء احد الطرفين. وعليه ان يقبل حقيقة تقول ان الاستماع هو افضل تصرف في بعض الحالات، وان الاستماع يعني محاولة فهم وجهة نظر الطرف الآخر، دون اعتبار الاختلاف قضية شخصية.
اذا أردت ان ابلغك كيف اشعر تجاه بعض الأمور فانك ستغضب ولأنني لا استطيع، فسأبقي فمي مغلقا.
- يخشى الناس ان تتسبب أية ملاحظة سلبية يقولونها للطرف الآخر، في فقدان حبه، ولكن ذلك ليس صحيحا في حالة الزواج، فالذين لا يتحدثون من اجل ان يحافظوا على السلام في علاقاتهم الزوجية، سيدفعون ثمناً غالياً لهذا الصمت في المستقبل.
لو كنت كما يجب ان أكون، فلن أكون ضعيفا او مرهقا او جبانا او خائفا.
- يحب الرجال ان يكونوا مثاليين أمام زوجاتهم، وعندما يكتشفون انهم اظهروا بعض النواقص، فانهم يحاولون اخفاء مشاعرهم على أمل الا تكتشف النساء ذلك، وكلما زاد اخفاؤهم للمشاعر، زاد من غضبهم على زوجاتهم وزادت المسافة بينهم، بينما لا تعرف الزوجات ما الخطأ.
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ومن الطبيعي جداً الا يكون الانسان كاملا، والطرف الآخر لن يتوقع الكمال ابدا، فلا ضرورة لمحاولة الظهور بمظهر الانسان المثالي لأن هذه المحاولة ستعطي نتائج عكسية على الزواج.
اذا حدثتني عن مشكلة تتعرض لها، فانا ملزم بتقديم النصيحة.
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- في الغالب، عندما يطرح الانسان مشكلة امام شريكه، حول العمل او الاطفال او الاصدقاء، فان اقصى ما يحاول الحصول عليه، هو اذن متعاطفة، لكن معظم الناس، مع الأسف، يتصورون ان من واجبهم ان يقدموا الحكمة، لذلك يقاطعون ويصححون ويقدمون النصائح، مما يغضب الطرف الاخر، لأن ذلك يجعله يحس بأن شريكه يعتبره غير ذكي بما فيه الكفاية لحل مشاكله، ولذلك فانه سيقرر الا يتحدث في هذه المشاكل.
اذا أردت ان تكون وحدك، فهذا يعني انك لا تحبني.
- ان مجرد حاجة الانسان الى ان يكون وحده لفترة، لا يعني ابدا انه لا يحب شريكه. ان كل انسان بحاجة الى ان يكون وحده، وعلى الطرف الآخر ان يقبل ذلك، دون ان يأخذه على محمل شخصي، او يلوم شريكه على حاجته اليه.
لا أستطيع ان افعل ما تريد، لانك ستمتعض.
- عندما يفعل الانسان فقط ما يريده شريكه، فانه يفصح عن امتعاضه هو، لانه يكون غير سعيد، ومستاء من شريكه الذي جعله على هذا النحو، ان من واجب كل طرف ان يتحمل مسؤوليته في خلق السعادة لنفسه، دون ان يلوم الطرف الآخر على غيابها.
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